Dream

With intensity I have learned to glow.
Sweetly bitter, articulately poignant,
I've dug a grave and laid my past to rest.
Ears pricked, I scent the winds of change again.
Head turned into the light breeze,
I close my eyes and wait, patient beast.
Muscles coiled in ferocious intensity,
the restless huntress arises within.
At rest, but never at peace.
I've heard the call after an eternal wait;
in my minds' eye a vision rises.
With ferocity, intensity, passion,
I worship before an alter of darkness.
He is there in all his magnificence as always,
though I can never see who he is.
King, lover, master, lord.
My only equal.
Wielding rod and flail as only he knows how,
communing, demanding, understanding.
Knowing.
He lovingly caresses me as no other has before,
innately familiar, instinctively aware.
He deliciously, expertly, maps a journey of flesh and mind
that plunges deeply, thrusts to my very core.
The depths of emotion know no bounds.
Cry out in joy and ecstasy, pain and fear,
whilst tears freely flow;
opened fully in surrender and supplication,
whilst laughing with abandon,
yet writhing in agony.
Lust.
Lines blurred, edges fogged.
Terror.
Relief.
Catharsis.
Bodies and minds meld into one whole,
a temple worthy of worship,
a world existing only in our minds.

The Stranger

A hand stretches out across the ether,
tentative, cautious, daring.
Extended in friendship and curiosity,
gently prodding the barriers.
A vulnerable, fragile, empathetic core
balanced with pure unadulterated darkness;
surrounded with walls of stone and steel,
covered with curtains of silk.
If the stranger asks, he will receive
perhaps more than he ever bargained.
Whisper of silk as it drops to the ground,
hardness of stone underfoot.
The ring of metal and it's cold kiss on flesh
agony and ecstasy entwine.
Sweetly submitting to darkness and evil,
the beautiful, poetic surrender.
And yet, the light calls, the heat of day seduces;
again the battle of duality.
She who is dark reluctantly shifts, makes way;
she who is light floats onward.
Where is he, the stranger who dwells in the night,
the one who infiltrates our dreams?
He who is man both light and dark;
within one soul, two natures.

And Again

circular patterns repeating
repeating
round and round
until i'm dizzy and nauseous
let me off this ride
it's not fun anymore

Diabolical, poignant, articulate one!
Dear me, do I also sense duality in you?
So similar, so different...
Familiar strangers,
I've called that before.

go away leave me be
stop lying
stop torturing me
my soul aches
my heart laid bare
a familiar path i walk again

Soul twin, so similar in nature!
Am I the only one who sees?
My vision blinds me...
Deceptive truth,
Though perhaps it's not.

My Conflict

You've been gone for hours now.
Our time together was short and tumultuous as always.
I keep wondering if we were doomed from the start;
I keep wondering what, if anything, is between us.
I can still smell you on my sheets, on me.
I want to wrap myself in scent and memories, comfort.
I can still feel your presence near me, in me.
In the dark, in the early hours, everything seems so simple.
Soft words whispered intimately to each other.
Is it honesty or bullshit in the dark?
When the lights come back on, why do I forget the laughter;
The simple joy of being near you, joining with you.
Why does the paranoia and uncertainty set in?
Why do you have to feel so damn good?
Why does it have to feel so damn right yet so wrong?
You're right, somehow we do fit...
I was supposed to end this mess.
I was supposed to leave.
I can but I can't.
Problem is, I don't want to.

Searching in Agony

How do I escape this world of suffering and pain?
Suppose the question is whether I want to escape from it or to it...
I have reawakened that inside me best left dormant.
she wants to play she is hungry
I dream of a world where I have no conscience.
to frolic to play to destroy
Where life has no value.
pleasure
darkness
empty
i dream of pain once again
Oh dark one find me!
The battle wages,
the field my mind, my body.

Gratitude

My love is vast and eternal.
It is a gaping, raw-edged wound,
Fragile, strong, beautiful in its complexity.
It is safe harbor, refuge from the storm;
Infinite, comforting solace for those who seek it.
My forgiveness is boundless;
It is given freely always.
My gratitude is plentiful,
For the creativity and multitude gifts bestowed upon me.
I am, and forever will be blessed.
I smile at the benevolence of the universe.
I am awed and humbled by its excess.

Empathetic Reality

Love lifts my heart weightless,
joy for potentiality and hopefulness...
I fly on currents of light
reminded of the wonder of feeling.
And then, oh then,
disastrous and painful...
My heart is dashed by reality,
cruelly slammed into the ground.
What was caged, set free,
only to fall to the asphalt,
bruised and torn, temporarily damaged.
And yet, my body betrays me,
intoxicated by the gaoler
and by he who frees me.
And yet, my heart still rebels,
wondering at the possibilities.
Benefit of the doubt? Perhaps.