My Conflict

You've been gone for hours now.
Our time together was short and tumultuous as always.
I keep wondering if we were doomed from the start;
I keep wondering what, if anything, is between us.
I can still smell you on my sheets, on me.
I want to wrap myself in scent and memories, comfort.
I can still feel your presence near me, in me.
In the dark, in the early hours, everything seems so simple.
Soft words whispered intimately to each other.
Is it honesty or bullshit in the dark?
When the lights come back on, why do I forget the laughter;
The simple joy of being near you, joining with you.
Why does the paranoia and uncertainty set in?
Why do you have to feel so damn good?
Why does it have to feel so damn right yet so wrong?
You're right, somehow we do fit...
I was supposed to end this mess.
I was supposed to leave.
I can but I can't.
Problem is, I don't want to.