A Love Yet to Be Known

Where are you tonight?
Looking up at the stars from underneath
the great black sea of sky,
I imagine you up on a hill behind me.
Looking down on me.
Your spirit playfully flies on the wind,
ruffling my hair with your breath,
wrapping me in your warmth.
Though I cannot see you,
I spread my arms to embrace you.
I close my eyes and smile,
feeling you near me always.
My familiar stranger, twin of my soul.
Watching over me from afar,
feeling you ever near, but never near.

On Writing

S0metimes my words fly away from me, unheeded, unshepherded, completely free and unknown. My pen merely moving across the page, or fingers flying across the keyboard, unconscious of the next letter until it is formed. It is at these times that I feel a woman possessed. It is at these times that I feel most free.

Mine

Bent my heart around someone else,
bent my mind around your ideals,
bent my life around what you wanted,
and now I've broken free.
My life is now my own,
my heart is for whomever I wish.
No longer is it your business
what or who I chose to do...

Awakening

Wind rushing past her ears,
she falls towards the earth,
arms spread wide,
eyes closed against the dizzying height.
Her heart and mind are open,
poised, ready.

The weary traveller, finally,
opens her eyes,
blinking in the harsh light,
squinting, eyes watering.
She stretches her limbs,
shakes her head.
Realizes that the wind cushions her fall.
As she hurtles earthward,
her eyes focus.

And after a seemingly eternal
fear-imposed slumber,
she AWAKENS!

She has long been avoiding this free-fall,
for she knows the way will not be easy.
Courage, perseverance,
conviction, strength unwavering
are her weapons.

She is up for the challenge.

The Story of Submission

I will submit to you,
sweetly, sexually, sensually,
with abandon,
with joy even.
But never will you be
master of my life.

Raven

The darkness that resides within my soul
beats glorious dark wings of heavenly madness.
The oblivion I seek resides within my mind
where the darkness and madness exist in abundance
and where lust, love, and joy merge into one whole.
Revelry and abandon.

Numb

Everything is so simple in the dark,
when I'm banging my head rhythmically
against a cold concrete wall,
and it doesn't even hurt anymore
that you abandoned me and are gone.
And I'm numb to all feeling
and can't feel the pain
of a love that was there, embraced
yet I pushed it away;
of a love that wasn't, won't be
yet haunts me still anyway;
of a love that I asked for, wished for
yet in the light it went away.
And in the darkness I sit here alone
bruises all over a body battered and worn,
invisible to the eye, yet they exist.
And still here I sit, rocking and cold,
skull a battering ram against unyielding stone.

In the hussle and bussle
of a downtown inner city park,
the trees spread their arms
in magnificence,
drawing a cloak of leaves
close around them to shade
their bountiful roots.
Silence and peace amidst the chaos.
Another world that defies time.
Slow down.

T.S.F.

In the passionate heat of summer
I sit and shyly ponder the memory
of a magically mundane day
made special by the presence of you.
The sandy shores conformed uniquely
as we sat and contemplated youth.
Shared thoughts made memories as
the salt air caressed our skin.
Magestic oaks spread above us,
bees buzzing about their business,
the sun shining approvingly on all,
a slippery seal curiously stares.
Laughter golden in our eyes,
the surf reflecting our shared mirth,
a symphony of sounds and silence,
our hearts open and alive.
A single moment in time, forever,
a piece of my treasure gifted to you.

Baited with Bated Breath

A hand hangs, extended in the air,
grasping nothing but what is there,
nothing;
held up by nothing but willfulness.
You seemed to shun even the most innocent
gesture of friendship,
and made it more than it was:
false promises, disproportionate fantasies.

Why do you mock me?
Your gesture of decency shrouded in mystery.
'Tis more than happenstance
was your crude claim, your refrain.
You shove me away,
then invade my world again.
Why do you hide?
Why do you run?

A hand hangs, extended into the balance.
No need to be tentative anymore,
no need for caution, for cloak and dagger.
The time for daring is at hand.
Actors on a stage are we all,
and thus thy time is at hand.
Unmask thyself dear heart, dear soul --
first to thyself, and then to the world.

This complex and complicated dance continues,
though I'd almost rather it wouldn't.
It seems that 'tis in fact more than happenstance.
You leading, whilst I tumble and stumble,
pulled along in the wake of the unknown.
I'm tired of trying to dance unknowing and blind.
And so, I break away to dance alone,
though I look back with a wink and a smile.

This is the last of it,
this is all that I have left.
My endurance is not what it once was.
My desire is fading into the mists.
Master of the game, master of the dance,
I bow to you, this round you win.
Enjoy your old world, whatever oblivion you find.
'Till divergent paths may converge once again.